Thursday, August 22, 2013

Dumb Criminals Part 2: Robbers at their "Best"

Let's start by talking about people that actually commit crimes.  You would think that if you are going to commit yourself to something that could potentially lead to jail time or possibly even death if things go really bad that you would want to do at least a little bit of research before you go in. 

With that being said let's talk about our first dumb criminal of the evening.  A 28 year old man named Christopher Allen Koch decided that he was going to rob a bank.  I am sure it started out with a desperate times call for desperate measures type of ordeal and then a "plan" was hatched.  The bank that he was attempting to rob was in Liberty, PA.  What he didn't think to check before choosing the Bank was the operating hours.  Reportedly he sat in his car for about 20 minutes, probably psyching himself up for it and then decided to go through with it.  This particular bank closed at 12:00 and by the time he got out of the car to go up to the door, it was 12:01.  Oh wait, did I mention that he came up to the door wearing a ski mask and gloves and had a gun on him.  So he is out in broad daylight for everyone to see.  The employees saw him and reported his license plate number to police who were able to arrest him for attempted robbery.  If only he had looked at the door to see the operating hours, or had the sense of mind to wait until he was inside to put on the mask, or even to have gone inside when he first got there instead of waiting 20 minutes....  But if he was that smart he probably wouldn't be robbing a bank in the first place....

Dumb Bank Robber Turns Up Too Late

Since we are already on the topic of robbery, let's take a look at the burglar who wrote his own name at the crime scene.  In the UK, an 18 year old names Peter Addison and a friend vandalized a children's campsite building and set off fire extinguishers.  He actually wrote "Peter Addison Was
Here" on a wall.  If that wasn't enough to ensure that everyone knew who had done the handiwork, he also wrote his associated gang's name on the wall.  Police were able to locate him after looking him up online. 

Daft Burglar Writes Own Name on Wall

Looks Like Burglary is the hot topic of the evening.  Our next criminals robbed a bank in Vail, Colorado.  Two Australian bank robbers have been dubbed Dumb & Dumber after jokingly taking pictures of themselves with the stolen cash in a McDonald's bathroom.  Their celebration didn't last long as they were captured the next day.  They left behind a plethora of clues which easily lead the police straight to them.  The men, Anthony Prince and Luke Carrol made it "laughably easy" for the
police to capture them.  Here's why: First off they wore ski masks but robbed their own bank that they frequented and were well known by their Australian accents in a Colorado bank.  The tellers were easily able to identify them on this alone.  If that wasn't enough, they were also visibly wearing their name tags from the sports store where they were employed.  That same day they attempted to buy airline tickets to Mexico with the stolen money.  Wow, these guys REALLY didn't plan well at all.

Dumb & Dumber Take Their Own Mugshots

Let's talk about another dumb attempted robber.  Have you ever heard the adage "You don't take a knife to a gun fight?"  Well, in Beaverton, OR a man named Derek Mosley decided to do one better.  He thought it would be a great plan to rob a gun store with a baseball bat.  Most likely he was under the impression that the guns being sold aren't loaded.  The only part of this that was possibly a good plan was that there was the possibility of a lot of money being in a gun store.  However he forgot about concealed carry laws.  Mr. Mosley decides to walk into a discount gun store and walks up to a display case and smashes it to steal a gun inside.  I have no idea why he thought that everyone would just sit around and be ok about this because he had a baseball bat....  The employee working behind
the counter took out his personal firearm and directed Mosley to drop the baseball bat and the gun that he had grabbed.  Wait, it gets better, apparently Mosley also had a knife on him that he dropped, so he really DID try to bring a knife to a gun fight....  By the time the cops showed up he was already on the floor at gunpoint ready for the handcuffs.  Wow... just wow....

Guy fails miserably at robbing a gun store with a baseball bat

Last but not least I leave you with a candidate for one of the worst robbers ever.  55 year old Harry Williams from Tempe, AZ decided for whatever reason that he was going to rob an Ace Hardware Store.  He walks into the store put his hand under his shirt and tells the employee at the cash register that he has a gun under his shirt and wants all of the money in the register.  The cashier told Mr. Williams that he didn't have any money in the register and wouldn't give it to him even if he did.  Williams asks the cashier to prove that there is no money in the register by opening it and letting him see.  The cashier tells him no and Williams walks out of the store.  Apparently the cashier was not convinced about William's "gun".  Not to be deterred, Williams decided to go across the street to the
Safeway.   He again tried to convince the cashier of his possession of a gun and again failed miserably.  Williams was escorted out of the building.  Williams waited a few minutes before sneaking back into the store and stuffing a sausage into his pants....  the dirty jokes are endless here...  Shortly after stealing the sausage he was discovered by police and they discovered that he actually did have a knife on him that he never used.  Apparently the judge felt bad enough for him that his sentence was greatly reduced. 

Candidate for Worst Robber Ever

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