Spectacular Female Mugshots: Dumb Criminals Part 6

In this edition of Dumb Criminals, I decided to choose based on some of the spectacularly awesome mugshots that are out there on the web.  You could probably spend years going through all of them, so here is just a sampling of some of the great ones that I found of women!  Enjoy!


Let's start off with the woman who gave zero fucks: Tracy Mabb.  She has possible one of the top 10 greatest mugshots of all time.  She was arrested in Florida 2 years ago for peeling off her clothes on the South Dixie highway around 5:40pm.  According to the report: "She pulled her long shirt up in front of drivers and pedestrians and exposed her entire body, including her breasts, vagina and buttocks, in a “complete vulgar and indecent manner.”"  The article jokes about how she must not have been taught how to expose her vagina in a polite and decent manner ;)  The actual charge was "exposing sexual organs."  I have heard of public indecency many times, but exposing sexual organs is definitely a new one haha.  Tracy was asked to put her shirt back on, and instead of complying she responded with "I don't give a fuck."  This sounds like a real winner to me.  Attention whore of the year for sure, and an exemplary example of somebody who truly gives "zero fucks."  Give it up for Tracy and her epic mugshot. 

You can find the full article here: Naked Florida Woman Gets Arrested

Let's move on to a perfectly great example of a mother showing her child what NOT to do when they grow up; Marsia Emanuel.  Marsia allegedly hailed a school bus that was transporting her daughter and other students.  She boarded the bus, then after some yelling in a foreign language she beat the bus driver.  During police questioning she decided it would be a great idea to add some icing on the cake and pulled down her underwear.  Perhaps it was a last ditch effort to offer herself to get off with minimal charges.  Or perhaps it was her way of trying to say that she was only crazy because it was "that time of the month."  Either way, this woman was acting like a crazy person, and I am thankful that the crazy was able to spill over onto the mugshot for our viewing pleasure! 




You can view the original article here: Marsia Emanuel was all mouth and vagina

Next we come to a tragic story of somebody who watched a LOT of CSI, but didn't fully grasp the concepts.  Angela C. Ferranti was involved in a car crash and then fled the scene.  Police arrived at the scene and located a sandals and a pair of shorts.  Thanks to the tracking skills of a dog named "Kilo", Ferranti was located in a wooded area wearing only bra and panties.  She claimed that she stripped down to her underwear to avoid the ability of a dog to track her by scent.  She was arrested on charges of DUI, Drug paraphernalia, leaving the scene of an accident and no registration...  I guess maybe next time she will run a little further and cover her scent better...  Or she could just skip the drinking and driving and save herself the hassle.  You can't be too mad at her attempt though, because it left us with a great mugshot :)

You can read the full story here: Woman in bra & panties can't elude police

Now we come to a woman who had a serious love of Girl Scout cookies; thin mints to be exact.  Hersha C. Howard was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after a fight with another woman over a box of Thin Mints...  In her defense it was probably the last box, and you just can't share Thin Mints, they are MUCH too delicious.  Howard was really feigning for some Thin Mints when she discovered that the cookies were *gasp* GONE!  According to police reports Hersha went into her roommate's room while she was sleeping and accused her of eating her cookies.  The roommate allegedly fed the cookies to Hersha's children when they were awake at 1am (oh no they will be Gremlins by morning).  The roommate offered to pay $10 for replacement of the cookies (that's WAY more than they originally cost, but nothing can cover the price of hunger for Thin Mints).  So of course Hersha refused and the arguing got physical which is when the roommate ran down the stairs being chased by Hersha who was brandishing a pair of scissors.  Instead of throwing the scissors at her like someone who was really angry, she instead opted to ditch the scissors and pick up a board (where the heck she got that from, no one will ever know) and instead struck the roommate while she was running (The board must have seemed more appropriate with it's longer reach and easier to hit a moving target with than the scissors).  In the kitchen the roommate ended up on the floor and was beaten by Hersha.  The roommate's husband got Hersha off of her (the roommate) while she made a mad dash outside.  Instead of stopping Hersha like any good husband would, Hersha instead was able to run outside and again beat the roommate...  this time with a sign.  Ok ok...  so did she rip the sign off of a pole, or was it just laying on the ground already, or maybe she magically picked it up in the house, just like the random board.  This story seems kind of fishy to me.  Maybe that roommate bitch shouldn't have fed her cookies to the kids...  Moral of the story...  Never touch a woman's Thin Mints....  This is one of those times were the saying "Bitches Be Crazy" is definitely appropriate!   However, once again we were rewarded with a winning mugshot!

You can find the original story here: Girl Scout Thin Mints Reported Stolen

The final mugshot of the night wraps up with a photo that is so spectacular that I will have to beg you to forgive me for the lack over interesting arrest story.  Arena Arnold, was charged with false impersonation after claiming to be a passenger in a crash.  She was in fact the driver of the crash, but after seeing her eyes, you may think that her claim of being a passenger could just be how she "sees" the road.  Ok ok that was mean, but I couldn't resist.  Enjoy the mugshot!



You can find the original story here: Rochester Woman Charged





In case you have missed any of the previous awesomely spectacular Dumb Criminal Blogs you can find them there:


Christmas Gone Wrong: Dumb Criminal Part 5

Social Networking Gone Wrong: Dumb Criminals Part 4

Women on a Rampage: Dumb Criminals Part 3

Robbers at Their "Best": Dumb Criminals Part 2

Incriminating Themselves: Dumb Criminals Part 1

Christmas Gone Wrong: Dumb Criminals Part 5

I have missed learning about some of the many dumb criminals out there, so thought it was time to come back and do one more before the year was up.  Tragically, the vast amount of dumb criminals on a day to day basis would enable me to write these blogs for a very long time without running out of stories.  Today I decided to focus on dumb criminals that messed up celebratory occasions.

To start us off I want to talk about 34 year old Krysta James.  She was charged with stabbing her fiance' in a fight over the wedding color schematic.  Now I know that this can be a stressful time, but the worst person you can stab would be the man that is about to marry your crazy ass, pick someone less likely to mess up the rest of your life, such as the caterer ;)  Oh, and did I mention that this also happened on Christmas Day.  Merry Christmas to you haha.

You can read the full story at: Woman stabs man during domestic dispute

Decorating the tree with family should be a happy time...  but not if there is only an ornament with your brother's name and none with yours according to Lewis Atwood.  Atwood was charged with assaulting his mother while decorating the Christmas tree once he discovered that there was in fact NO ornament celebrating his name.  This caused him to punch his mother in the face four or five times.  Apparently he was intoxicated at the time and lead to a misdemeanor assault charge.  I have a feeling that one of his previous outbursts had caused his mother to long ago smash the ornament with his name on it....

The full story can be found here: Man attacked mother in Christmas ornament dispute

If you are a marijuana user, wouldn't you want some as a Christmas present.  Apparently Randy Jesus Valdiva thought this was a very clever way to smuggle marijuana, by placing it in Christmas presents.  This was no small operation however, he had 20 pounds worth of marijuana in large boxes that were wrapped to resemble Christmas presents.  He was stopped by police as they said that he had criminal indicators and he allowed them to search his van.  Inside the presents was enough marijuana for a street value of $160,000.  It could have been a great plan if he wouldn't have gotten stopped.

The full story: Man smuggling marijuana in Christmas presents

Christmas tree decorating can be dangerous business.  In South Carolina a huge fight ensued among three sisters over Christmas tree decorating as a result of two sisters starting to decorate while the third was still at work.  The women were aged 24, 61 and 76.  A male relative tried to calm the tensions, but things escalated from there.  As a result there was yelling and shoving by all, enough so that at some point the police were called.  No charges were brought but the incident still shows how important Christmas tree decorating can really be.

View the story and police report here: Christmas tree decoration fight

And last but most certainly not least is the most heinous of all: A South Carolina woman,Patty White,  who has confessed to killing a family friend and burying her under the Christmas presents...  Why might someone do such an awful thing?  Apparently over some money, she killed her and then stole some debit cards and tried to get cash out of her accounts.   The woman who was killed, Michele O'Dowd was letting White stay with her because she had fallen on some hard times.  What better way to say thank you for having such a kind heart, and a Merry Christmas to you.  :(

The story can be found here: Woman buried under Christmas presents


You can find the previous Dumb Criminal Articles here:

Social Networking Gone Wrong

Women on a Rampage

Robbers at their "Best"

Incriminating Themselves

Social Networking Gone Wrong: Dumb Criminals Part 4

Social networking can be very useful for a variety of things. But in recent years it has become an amazing tool to help law enforcement catch suspects that give themselves away.  Here are a few of the most stellar examples of such:

Let's start this night off with a photo that was posted to facebook of a guy posing next to a police car siphoning gas out of the car.  Let me just say that this rates VERY high on the DUMBASS scale.  The
man and his girlfriend (the photographer) have reportedly said that it was only meant as a joke.  Although I thin they went to a lot of work to actually set the gas can up to the car with the hose to show the "mock siphoning."  Any thoughts?

Read the entire story here: Gas siphoning posted on facebook

Now we come to another incredibly "intelligent" human being.  Fugitive Chris Crego plead guilty to assault but when time for his sentencing came he had already fled the state.  However, he didn't forget
to leave behind breadcrumbs for the police to follow.  He updated not just facebook but also myspace with his new location, workplace and work hours.  If that wasn't enough to show that he was the wanted man he also posted a picture of his wanted poster on his facebook.  Needless to say he didn't stay "free" for long.

Read the entire story here: Facebook locations can actually be used to locate you


As if drunk driving wasn't stupid enough, this Oregon teen Jacob Cox-Brown posted about it in a facebook message apologizing for whoever's car he hit.  Oh yes, that's right he was drunk driving and ALSO a hit and run.  Police happened to show up at his doorstep the next day which also happened to be New Year's day.   His smiley face at the end of his status message indicated his serious lack of empathy. 

Read the full story here: Status message leads to drunk driver

Then of course we come to possibly one of the greatest or possibly the worst dumb criminals of all time we come to Michael Shane Hagger.  He was wanted in New Zealand on charges of shoplifting when he went to a police facebook page.  A picture of Hagger was posted with a request for any information.  Hagger thought it would be funny to post "Hoo Rah" on the photo.  His taunting only
garnered him national attention in an attempt to find him.

Read the story here:  Cops taunted on facebook post

Maybe it's just me but I would think that if I were going to break into someone's house and steal something that I would want to be in and out of there as fast as possible and not leave any trace of having been there.   This was not the case for 19 year old Jonathan Parker.  He allegedly stole at least 2 diamond rings from a woman's house but in the process he logged into her computer and used his facebook...  being the brilliant teen that he was he forgot to log out of the account and was easily identified as the burglar. 

The full article can be found here: Burglar leaves his facebook signed in

The previous Dumb Criminal Articles can be found here:

Women on a Rampage: Part 3

Robbers at Their "Best": Part 2

Incriminating Themselves: Part 1

Dumb Criminals Part 3: Women on a Rampage

This evening Dumb Criminals blog features women who were on some sort of a rampage.  I hope you enjoy their special kind of crazy. 

Let's begin by talking about Racquel Gonzalez, who allegedly assaulted her boyfriend for having an orgasm when she did not have one herself.  I can see why she may have been angry about this if it seemed to be par for her sex life.  However, I think that getting a new boyfriend would have probably been a better alternative.  After the alleged sex incident Gonzalez was apparently scratching and hitting her boyfriend going for the eyes and nose.  According to her boyfriend she has a troubled past and "goes off" on him all of the time.   Seems to me that her boyfriend liked to live dangerously and maybe he shouldn't have been quite so selfish in bed.  Luckily for him at least she didn;t go "Lorena Bobbit on his butt."  My advice to her is to find a new man or maybe just a vibrating one and she won't have that problem anymore.

Boyfriend assaulted for solitary orgasm

Now let's talk about some serious hatred for The Eagles or maybe it's just hatred for a roommate.  Vernett Bader allegedly stabbed her roommate (also her ex boyfriend) for his refusal to stop listening to The Eagles.  Bader was reportedly peacefully watching television and told her roommate to turn his music off.  The roommate refused and continued to listen to the Eagles which understandably pushed Vernett to her limits.  The roommate reports that Vernett came at him with a kitchen knife and after he wrestled it away from her she went back for another one while he locked himself in the bathroom for safety.  Vernett alleges that she only stabbed her room mate in self defense as he was choking her.  Without any visible marks on her neck Vernett's story didn't hold up in court.

Room mate stabbed over The Eagles

We can't have dumb criminals without a little bit of drunken debauchery.  In March a woman was charged with a DWI after trying to run from the cops in a child's toy truck.  Of course this only occurred after she crashed into a mobile home and then thought she had found a new mode of transportation.   Did I mention that the toy was battery operated?   Kind of reminds me of  a Southpark Car Chase with a battery operated car going for the border at around 5 mph and the cop cars still happen to crash and burn.   But back to the topic at hand.  Jamie Craft allegedly had on a white shirt with no pants or shoes...  after crashing into a man's trailer she got into his son's Power Wheels truck and tried to drive away.  Needless to say the breathalyzer reported that Craft had a BAC of .217  So she was definitely highly intoxicated at the time...  Just goes to show that you should NEVER drink and drive....  especially in a Power Wheels truck.

DWI in Power Wheels

Speaking of cars, let's talk about a Phoenix woman who attempted to steal a car but could not figure out how to work the transmission...  Oh yeah it was an automatic.  The most difficult of all transmissions.....  A man was dropping his children off at a house and left his car running in the driveway.  That's right the keys are in the ignition and the car is already turned on.  The door is unlocked and waiting.  So Jasmine Hernandez jumps at the opportunity and frantically starts trying to figure out how to put the car in drive (or maybe reverse).  Either way she seems to be pushing on the gas pedal and turning on the lights and windshield wipers and not making any attempt to use the automatic gear shifter....  According to the police report Hernanez apparently was not aware that any cars were made without a column-mounted shifter.  Unluckily Hernandez already had a warrant out for her arrest...  Luckily it seems that no actual charges were filed in her botched attempt at car theft. 

Would Be Car Theft Foiled By Own Stupidity

*Warning: The following story is somewhat graphic and disgusting, read at your own risk.

Of course we couldn't talk about raging dumb women criminals without any mention of the West Virgina woman who threatened 2 men at knife point to "go down on her."  Melissa Williams was charged with assault and weapons charges after allegedly holding two men at knife point that refused her sexual demands at a hotel.  Apparently Williams lived 4 rooms down from her estranged husband and decided to pay him and his friend a visit.  During said visit she demanded that they "eat her pussy."  Her estranged husband reportedly declined the invitation but his friend agreed to it and approached Williams.  However, as he got closer he was met with a "horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams."  Needless to say this caused him to change his mind.  Melissa Williams then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”  I really don't have anything more to add, I think that about sums it up haha. 

Woman's Demands Go TOO Far

Dumb Criminals Part 2: Robbers at their "Best"

Let's start by talking about people that actually commit crimes.  You would think that if you are going to commit yourself to something that could potentially lead to jail time or possibly even death if things go really bad that you would want to do at least a little bit of research before you go in. 


With that being said let's talk about our first dumb criminal of the evening.  A 28 year old man named Christopher Allen Koch decided that he was going to rob a bank.  I am sure it started out with a desperate times call for desperate measures type of ordeal and then a "plan" was hatched.  The bank that he was attempting to rob was in Liberty, PA.  What he didn't think to check before choosing the Bank was the operating hours.  Reportedly he sat in his car for about 20 minutes, probably psyching himself up for it and then decided to go through with it.  This particular bank closed at 12:00 and by the time he got out of the car to go up to the door, it was 12:01.  Oh wait, did I mention that he came up to the door wearing a ski mask and gloves and had a gun on him.  So he is out in broad daylight for everyone to see.  The employees saw him and reported his license plate number to police who were able to arrest him for attempted robbery.  If only he had looked at the door to see the operating hours, or had the sense of mind to wait until he was inside to put on the mask, or even to have gone inside when he first got there instead of waiting 20 minutes....  But if he was that smart he probably wouldn't be robbing a bank in the first place....

Dumb Bank Robber Turns Up Too Late

Since we are already on the topic of robbery, let's take a look at the burglar who wrote his own name at the crime scene.  In the UK, an 18 year old names Peter Addison and a friend vandalized a children's campsite building and set off fire extinguishers.  He actually wrote "Peter Addison Was
Here" on a wall.  If that wasn't enough to ensure that everyone knew who had done the handiwork, he also wrote his associated gang's name on the wall.  Police were able to locate him after looking him up online. 

Daft Burglar Writes Own Name on Wall




Looks Like Burglary is the hot topic of the evening.  Our next criminals robbed a bank in Vail, Colorado.  Two Australian bank robbers have been dubbed Dumb & Dumber after jokingly taking pictures of themselves with the stolen cash in a McDonald's bathroom.  Their celebration didn't last long as they were captured the next day.  They left behind a plethora of clues which easily lead the police straight to them.  The men, Anthony Prince and Luke Carrol made it "laughably easy" for the
police to capture them.  Here's why: First off they wore ski masks but robbed their own bank that they frequented and were well known by their Australian accents in a Colorado bank.  The tellers were easily able to identify them on this alone.  If that wasn't enough, they were also visibly wearing their name tags from the sports store where they were employed.  That same day they attempted to buy airline tickets to Mexico with the stolen money.  Wow, these guys REALLY didn't plan well at all.

Dumb & Dumber Take Their Own Mugshots




Let's talk about another dumb attempted robber.  Have you ever heard the adage "You don't take a knife to a gun fight?"  Well, in Beaverton, OR a man named Derek Mosley decided to do one better.  He thought it would be a great plan to rob a gun store with a baseball bat.  Most likely he was under the impression that the guns being sold aren't loaded.  The only part of this that was possibly a good plan was that there was the possibility of a lot of money being in a gun store.  However he forgot about concealed carry laws.  Mr. Mosley decides to walk into a discount gun store and walks up to a display case and smashes it to steal a gun inside.  I have no idea why he thought that everyone would just sit around and be ok about this because he had a baseball bat....  The employee working behind
the counter took out his personal firearm and directed Mosley to drop the baseball bat and the gun that he had grabbed.  Wait, it gets better, apparently Mosley also had a knife on him that he dropped, so he really DID try to bring a knife to a gun fight....  By the time the cops showed up he was already on the floor at gunpoint ready for the handcuffs.  Wow... just wow....

Guy fails miserably at robbing a gun store with a baseball bat

Last but not least I leave you with a candidate for one of the worst robbers ever.  55 year old Harry Williams from Tempe, AZ decided for whatever reason that he was going to rob an Ace Hardware Store.  He walks into the store put his hand under his shirt and tells the employee at the cash register that he has a gun under his shirt and wants all of the money in the register.  The cashier told Mr. Williams that he didn't have any money in the register and wouldn't give it to him even if he did.  Williams asks the cashier to prove that there is no money in the register by opening it and letting him see.  The cashier tells him no and Williams walks out of the store.  Apparently the cashier was not convinced about William's "gun".  Not to be deterred, Williams decided to go across the street to the
Safeway.   He again tried to convince the cashier of his possession of a gun and again failed miserably.  Williams was escorted out of the building.  Williams waited a few minutes before sneaking back into the store and stuffing a sausage into his pants....  the dirty jokes are endless here...  Shortly after stealing the sausage he was discovered by police and they discovered that he actually did have a knife on him that he never used.  Apparently the judge felt bad enough for him that his sentence was greatly reduced. 

Candidate for Worst Robber Ever

Incriminating Themselves: Dumb Criminals Part 1

Many criminals end up self incriminating themselves.  The other day I read about a gang member that was caught due to the intricate detail of a tattoo on his own body about a murder he has committed that had been unsolved for years.  Now there is another man whose rap lyrics led to an arrest.... A girl who posted a YouTube video bragging about robbing a bank... Are these people too over-confident or too ignorant to keep from getting caught?  Or are they just ready to be caught?  Not that I don't want criminals to pay for their crimes, but these people are one short cry from the Darwin awards?  *The Darwin awards are presented each year about people who die or come close to death due to their own stupidity.

First I am going to go over the rap lyrics that lead to an arrest in an unsolved murder in Virginia.  Police were able to solve a double murder from 2007 due to rap lyrics, within these lyrics the rapper Twain Gotti aka Antwain Steward made a song describing the murder.  The song was called "Ride Out" and lyrics are as follows: “Listen, walk to your boy and I approached him, 12 midnight on his traphouse porch and everybody saw when I [expletive] smoked him, roped him, sharpened up the shank then I poked him, 357 Smith & Wesson [unintelligible] scoped him,” Police believe that this was a gang related killing and Mr. Steward was already considered a subject but until he incriminated himself in the song there was not enough evidence to tie him to the murder.   I also want to point out the fact that the gang he was affiliated with was called Wickzoo....  Need I say more?  For the full story you can follow the link: Rap lyrics lead to arrest in unsolved murder

 

News video featuring part of the song "Ride Out"

Now let's talk about stupid criminals and tattoos.  Recently a gang member was picked up on a minor offense and had his tattoos photographed for record.  He was apparently so proud and confident of his work in the unsolved murder that he had many details unreleased to the public graphically depicted within his tattoo.  Unfortunately for him a detective that had worked on the original unsolved case happened to now be working in the department that had photographed his tattoos and came across the incriminating evidence.   This man was in a Los-Angeles gang called Rivera-13(affiliated with MS-13?)  The murder occurred in 2004 at a liquor store and the tattoo graphically showed specific lighting around the store and depicted a peanut being killed (peanuts are routinely used to represent rival gang members).  The tattoo also shows a chopper gunning down the peanut.  The man Anthony Garcia went by the name Chopper in his gang. 

"Each key detail was right there: the Christmas lights that lined the roof of the liquor store where 23-year-old John Juarez was gunned down, the direction his body fell, the bowed street lamp across the way and the street sign — all under the chilling banner of RIVERA KILLS, a reference to the gang Rivera-13.
As if to seal the deal, below the collarbone of the gang member known by the alias "Chopper" was a miniature helicopter raining down bullets on the scene." Shortly after being picked up and taken to the police station he confessed to the killing.  For the full story you can see: gang tattoo leads to arrest or also los angeles gang member convicted on tattoo

Moving on to a Nebraska teen who was convicted of robbing a bank thanks to a YouTube video she uploaded about it.  She titled the video "Chick Bank Robbery."   In the video she brags about stealing a car as well as robbing the bank.  To further self incriminate herself she shows off the money that she got from the bank (over $6K) as well as showing her smoking a full bowl of weed in the video.  She must have made the video right away because apparently she is wearing the same clothes in the YouTube video that she wore when she robbed the bank.  The video is a written confession to the crime and claims to be a victim of the government.  In the written confession she decides to mention "fun facts" about herself including the facts that she is married, pregnant, and has AIDS. 
You can read the full story here: Chick Bank Robber

"Chick Bank Robber"