For your listening pleasure this Valentine's Day
Showing posts with label Romantic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Romantic. Show all posts
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Letter Writing: Old Fashioned Romantic Gestures
I
have a few fairly old fashioned tastes when it comes to what I want from
a man and a relationship. One of these things is that I want a man who
will take the thought and time to send me an actual handwritten letter,
and send it through the mail with *gasp* an actual stamp. I find that I
can eliminate a LOT of suitors with this one simple request. Their
response to this request tells me a LOT
about them. I get a lot of excuses such as; "I hate writing" "I have
bad handwriting" "I could do it in a couple of months when I have more
free time" "I don't have time for stuff like that" "I don't have any
stamps or envelopes", etc. If you can't take the time to do something
as simple as write me a letter, than I must not mean very much to you.
If you cannot take the time to some something so simple and thoughtful
and personal than you aren't very serious about wanting to court me.
There is only one person who has actually said that they would write to
me.... I find this sad, but also hopeful that all is not lost in the
hopes of real love. Another reason why letters mean so much to me is that when my parents got divorced, my mother gave me all of the letters that my dad wrote to her when he was away at college before they got married talking about how much he loved her and me and I can't read them without crying. I also have her journals from when she was younger and those are some of my most priceless possessions, along with photos. I have boxes that I take with me everywhere of every letter that anyone has ever written to me from middle school until now. The written word is so amazing. Somehow you take more time to think when you actually wrote on paper than you do on a computer or through text. It takes that extra thought to know that what you are writing will be there on paper forever.
I know that I wrote more before being a mother and now I have sucked at it in the written form, I have been documenting a lot electronically, but that could all go away one day. I keep buying journals that I want to fill the pages of, I have them next to my bed, I used them for dream journals and late night thoughts but I bought a bunch of fun new colored pens so that I can have even more incentive to write more. I need to get on it myself. I need to print out more pictures for Liam to have and to post up around the house and to have actual REAL photo albums for Liam to look through.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
OCD: A Heartbreaking Love Poem
Earlier today I came across one of the most unique and heartfelt poems that I have ever heard in my life. It was written and read by a man named Neil Hilborn with OCD and tics. He is a very brave man that bared his heart and soul in front of other people and I commend him for that. It is the type of poem that would never be received int he proper way without him reading it himself. He entered into a poetry slam and was videotaped reading it aloud. It brought tears to my eyes each time that I have heard it and you can feel the power of his words and the emotions behind them.
If you don't know what OCD stands for it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Wikipedia defines OCD as "Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry; by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety; or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. Symptoms of the disorder include excessive washing or cleaning; repeated checking; extreme hoarding; preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts; relationship-related obsessions; aversion to particular numbers; and nervous rituals, such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and potentially psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their obsessions and compulsions as irrational, and may become further distressed by this realization." And a tic is described as "A tic is a sudden, repetitive, nonrhythmic motor movement or vocalization involving discrete muscle groups. Tics can be invisible to the observer, such as abdominal tensing or toe crunching. Common motor and phonic tics are, respectively, eye blinking and throat clearing"
With that background definition, if it is new to you than you can have a new realization to how amazing it is that he was able to stop washing his hands after touching her, and how he is now able to leave the door unlocked, and leaves the light on hoping for her to come back. It just breaks your heart. On one hand I can imagine how difficult dating someone with these behaviors would be, IT would require an insane amount of patience and time. Obviously the novelty wore off for this woman, and I hope that he can find someone worthy of him that can give the patience and time that he deserves. Either way his heart break breaks my heart with it's pain.
If you don't know what OCD stands for it is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Wikipedia defines OCD as "Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry; by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing the associated anxiety; or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions. Symptoms of the disorder include excessive washing or cleaning; repeated checking; extreme hoarding; preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts; relationship-related obsessions; aversion to particular numbers; and nervous rituals, such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room. These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress. The acts of those who have OCD may appear paranoid and potentially psychotic. However, OCD sufferers generally recognize their obsessions and compulsions as irrational, and may become further distressed by this realization." And a tic is described as "A tic is a sudden, repetitive, nonrhythmic motor movement or vocalization involving discrete muscle groups. Tics can be invisible to the observer, such as abdominal tensing or toe crunching. Common motor and phonic tics are, respectively, eye blinking and throat clearing"
With that background definition, if it is new to you than you can have a new realization to how amazing it is that he was able to stop washing his hands after touching her, and how he is now able to leave the door unlocked, and leaves the light on hoping for her to come back. It just breaks your heart. On one hand I can imagine how difficult dating someone with these behaviors would be, IT would require an insane amount of patience and time. Obviously the novelty wore off for this woman, and I hope that he can find someone worthy of him that can give the patience and time that he deserves. Either way his heart break breaks my heart with it's pain.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Because of You
Because of You
All because of you
Hearing your voice in the dark
No longer am I blue
You rekindled a spark
Deep within my
My pain is finally gone
My heart whispers softly
Singing it's joyful song
You're so close
Yet so far away
Wonder if he knows
How much I need him today
Alone here I sit
With you in my heart
Inside I'm throwing a fit
When we are a part
Slipping off my mask
Letting out my pain
What is it you ask
Love has reached me again
Your words amaze
Spoken from within
Away pass the days
Is loving you a sin
Somehow you found a way
To caress my soul
From the very first day
Having you was my goal
What do I need to do
To have you in my life
My love for you grows
Cutting my pain like a knife
*This is a poem that I wrote in 2002 and was published thanks to my Senior high school English teacher Miss Karnop who submitted it without my knowledge and bought me the book that it was published in for a graduation present. I spent my entire Senior year thinking that I was a horrible student as English had always been my favorite subject and she had been so hard on me and always pushed me. It wasn't until the end of the year when she finally told me the potential that she saw in me and helped give me inspiration in my writing when I felt that I couldn't make it. I will never forget her, and was sad to see that she ended up moving after that year and getting married. I wonder where she is now.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
I Embrace You Now
I Embrace You Now
Brittany Lynne McCann
9/7/09
Yearned to be free
Happiness to Reclaim
Cut all the chords
Start anew, fresh
So much time wasted
Too much time lost
Lost inside one’s self
A quarter century flies by
I’m right here waiting
This is me Now
You cannot break me
Immeasurable strength
Don’t judge without knowing
Some days held on by a thread
New found strength
More lessons learned
Never go back
Always moving forward
Fear no longer paralyzing the progress
Can always choose again
I’m ready and willing
Brush off the old
No room for the fake
No heart for the lies
Come real or not at all
Never needed anyone else
Me against the world
Rolling in armed and strong
Prepared for this journey
The untrodden pathways
The wisdom to discover
Feet can’t keep up with intentions
Laughter found in each day
Take me as I am
Completely or not at all
All is me, as I am all
No time for games
Won in overtime
Ready to move on
No adversary strong enough
No tears lonely enough
I open my heart to you now
As I was afraid to do before
No room for regrets
No need to look back
I embrace you now
My all-encompassing future
Brittany Lynne McCann
9/7/09
Yearned to be free
Happiness to Reclaim
Cut all the chords
Start anew, fresh
So much time wasted
Too much time lost
Lost inside one’s self
A quarter century flies by
I’m right here waiting
This is me Now
You cannot break me
Immeasurable strength
Don’t judge without knowing
Some days held on by a thread
New found strength
More lessons learned
Never go back
Always moving forward
Fear no longer paralyzing the progress
Can always choose again
I’m ready and willing
Brush off the old
No room for the fake
No heart for the lies
Come real or not at all
Never needed anyone else
Me against the world
Rolling in armed and strong
Prepared for this journey
The untrodden pathways
The wisdom to discover
Feet can’t keep up with intentions
Laughter found in each day
Take me as I am
Completely or not at all
All is me, as I am all
No time for games
Won in overtime
Ready to move on
No adversary strong enough
No tears lonely enough
I open my heart to you now
As I was afraid to do before
No room for regrets
No need to look back
I embrace you now
My all-encompassing future
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Never Meant To Be
Never Meant To Be
By: Brittany Lynne McCann
April 13, 2010
You and me
Were never meant to be
It was just an idea
That didn’t realize reality
Couldn’t grasp it’s own depth
From that second glance
We both fell into it
Eyes wide open
Hearts slammed shut
Somewhere along the way
Things happened right beneath our feet
Not as controllable
As you and I thought
Hearts leaping with joy
Yet still not feeling right
Everything was somehow wrong
The universe felt off
The deeper I fall
The more detached I seem to feel
The less it all seems real
I want to give my all
To someone willing to receive
From day one
There were no disillusions
I knew you were not the one
But I also knew I deserved some fun
My life had become so mundane
It threatened to drive me insane
Where do we go from here
I want my affections to go
To someone who wants them
You would rather feel nothing for me
To escape this contradictory
That drives us apart each day
And somehow closer still the next
Your company I crave
Yet wishing I cannot help
That in your place was someone else
Someone with open arms and heart
To appreciate and give in return
Someone deserving of me now
Not so far into the future
Someone who will not realize it once I’m gone
But who can realize it when it’s there
I do not want to lose you as a friend
Yet I feel it coming to an end
If we don’t act fast
It could end disastrous
Leaving us worse off than before
As our hearts hit the floor
Torn bare from our chests
In this battle of wills
While your touch still gives me chills
But your mind captivates
Not I moment I will regret
Many times I will never forget
How much longer can we masquerade
As we play at this charade
Of never letting go
Both stubborn as the bull
Which one of us will give in first
This time I feel the turn is mine
Allowing yourself to love would be divine
Yet I cannot continue to waste time
Waiting around for you to mature
I know what I deserve
Far more than you can give right now
Your friendship is irreplaceable
I will be sad to see you go
Yet I know we are meant to part ways
Already we have spent too many days
In this relationship contradictory
After all, you and me
We were never meant to be
*This is a very private poem that I did not share with very many people. It was written in regards to the father of my son. This was at the end of things between us and 2-3 months before I found out that I had been pregnant since March.....
Dear Unconditional Love
Dear Unconditional Love
No matter what happens, I seem to figure things out on my own. I grow older and wiser with each passing moment. I have so many amazing things that I have yet to experience in life. So many ups and downs, challenges and triumphs. Each day always creating an even better and more refined version of myself, even when there are days that feel like I am going in reverse. Eventually it is merely making me stronger and more appreciative of the future and the now. I keep moving forward somehow, always moving no matter how slowly, when there are days when getting out of bed is all that can be mentally accomplished. I continue to do what I can to give my all to each day, even when my all is more on some days than others. I try to be brave and to feel no fear, to be sure to conquer the fear that makes it through. The last couple years have pushed me more than I ever knew possible. Given me so many days that I had nothing left to offer but laughter at the irony of life, the ridiculousness of the situation, and the realization that no matter how bad things seem they can always be worse. I do not sit here vindicated I sit here thankful and rejuvenated with the things that I have been allowed to overcome and to grow from. Everything is a blessing, a new opportunity to learn from in the classroom of life. I have been incredibly fortunate with those in my life whose love has been my rock, my strength when I no longer had anything to give. No matter what capacity it came in I will NEVER forget, and I only hope to come close for anyone in life to try to repay back this miracle of love to the universe.
Yet it has all been bittersweet because you have not been here to share it with me. You have not been here to grow with me, to laugh with me, to cry with me, and to merely LIVE life with me. To me this is the most unacceptable thing of all. I know you are somewhere, so close and yet so far away, but what are you waiting for? I have never been very good with patience and I cannot find a valid way to justify each day gone without you in my life. In searching I am afraid that we may have gotten lost along the way, that we somehow missed what was there. So I will sit here becoming the best I can be for you and more importantly for me each and every day. I will not close my eyes to whatever way it is that you have chosen to reveal yourself to me this time. I don't want to live with regrets and each day wasted without you is a waste of time that could have been OURS. Time that can go by in the blink of an eye if we are not careful. I'm no longer afraid, so why should you be? Stop making excuses, stop postponing life. Stop being afraid of the end before a beginning is ever allowed to happen. There is no reason to postpone the ultimate in shared happiness. I am here telling you that I am not running, I'm here and I am ready. So what are you waiting for? Come and get me.
Your Soulmate
*This is a letter I wrote in February of 2010 as I was feeling very open to welcome new and wonderful experiences into my life.
No matter what happens, I seem to figure things out on my own. I grow older and wiser with each passing moment. I have so many amazing things that I have yet to experience in life. So many ups and downs, challenges and triumphs. Each day always creating an even better and more refined version of myself, even when there are days that feel like I am going in reverse. Eventually it is merely making me stronger and more appreciative of the future and the now. I keep moving forward somehow, always moving no matter how slowly, when there are days when getting out of bed is all that can be mentally accomplished. I continue to do what I can to give my all to each day, even when my all is more on some days than others. I try to be brave and to feel no fear, to be sure to conquer the fear that makes it through. The last couple years have pushed me more than I ever knew possible. Given me so many days that I had nothing left to offer but laughter at the irony of life, the ridiculousness of the situation, and the realization that no matter how bad things seem they can always be worse. I do not sit here vindicated I sit here thankful and rejuvenated with the things that I have been allowed to overcome and to grow from. Everything is a blessing, a new opportunity to learn from in the classroom of life. I have been incredibly fortunate with those in my life whose love has been my rock, my strength when I no longer had anything to give. No matter what capacity it came in I will NEVER forget, and I only hope to come close for anyone in life to try to repay back this miracle of love to the universe.
Yet it has all been bittersweet because you have not been here to share it with me. You have not been here to grow with me, to laugh with me, to cry with me, and to merely LIVE life with me. To me this is the most unacceptable thing of all. I know you are somewhere, so close and yet so far away, but what are you waiting for? I have never been very good with patience and I cannot find a valid way to justify each day gone without you in my life. In searching I am afraid that we may have gotten lost along the way, that we somehow missed what was there. So I will sit here becoming the best I can be for you and more importantly for me each and every day. I will not close my eyes to whatever way it is that you have chosen to reveal yourself to me this time. I don't want to live with regrets and each day wasted without you is a waste of time that could have been OURS. Time that can go by in the blink of an eye if we are not careful. I'm no longer afraid, so why should you be? Stop making excuses, stop postponing life. Stop being afraid of the end before a beginning is ever allowed to happen. There is no reason to postpone the ultimate in shared happiness. I am here telling you that I am not running, I'm here and I am ready. So what are you waiting for? Come and get me.
Your Soulmate
*This is a letter I wrote in February of 2010 as I was feeling very open to welcome new and wonderful experiences into my life.
Monday, June 24, 2013
I Want To
Here is a past poem that I would like to share, Enjoy:)
I Want To
By: Brittany L. McCann
9/12/10
I Want to Feel
His Breathe Upon My Neck
His Lips Upon My Skin
His Arms Wrapped Around Me
The Racing of His Heart
The Butterflies He Gives Me
With Merely A Smile
I Want To Hear
The Way He Says My Name
A Sigh Escape From His Lips
His Voice When He First Wakes Up
The Happiness in His Laughter
The Sound of His Heartbeat
With My Ear Pressed Against His Chest
I Want to See
His Eyes Sparkle With Excitement
His Smile Light Up His Face
His Heart Shine From Within
His Confidence in Life
The Tears He Hides From the World
And Let Him Know It’s Ok to Make Mistakes
I Want To Touch
His Lips With Mine
His Skin With My Fingertips
His Body With My Kisses
His Heart With My Love
His Soul From Deep Within
So He Never Has to Wonder If I’m The One
I Want To Know
His Deepest Desires
His Darkest Fears
His Secrets No One Knows
What Truly Makes Him Happy
His Dreams & Aspirations
So I Can Help Make Them Happen
I Want To Make Him Feel Safe
I Want Him To Know He Is Mine
I Want To Hold His Hand
I Want To Make New Memories
I Want To Be His Diary
I Want To Protect Him
I Want To Support Him
I Want To Push Him To Be Better
I Want To Catch Him When He Falls
I Want To Make Him Smile Every Day
I Want To Love Him With All That I Am
But Most Of All
I Want To Begin Sharing My Life With Him
*I wrote this poem a few months after finding out that I was going to be a mother, and my emotions were at an all time high. My heart was open more than it had ever been. I was in a wonderful place in my life to allow love to enter. I wanted to share all of the amazing experiences I was going through with someone.
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