Never Meant To Be

Never Meant To Be
By: Brittany Lynne McCann
April 13, 2010

You and me
Were never meant to be
It was just an idea
That didn’t realize reality
Couldn’t grasp it’s own depth
From that second glance
We both fell into it
Eyes wide open
Hearts slammed shut
Somewhere along the way
Things happened right beneath our feet
Not as controllable
As you and I thought
Hearts leaping with joy
Yet still not feeling right
Everything was somehow wrong
The universe felt off
The deeper I fall
The more detached I seem to feel
The less it all seems real
I want to give my all
To someone willing to receive
From day one
There were no disillusions
I knew you were not the one
But I also knew I deserved some fun
My life had become so mundane
It threatened to drive me insane
Where do we go from here
I want my affections to go
To someone who wants them
You would rather feel nothing for me
To escape this contradictory
That drives us apart each day
And somehow closer still the next
Your company I crave
Yet wishing I cannot help
That in your place was someone else
Someone with open arms and heart
To appreciate and give in return
Someone deserving of me now
Not so far into the future
Someone who will not realize it once I’m gone
But who can realize it when it’s there
I do not want to lose you as a friend
Yet I feel it coming to an end
If we don’t act fast
It could end disastrous
Leaving us worse off than before
As our hearts hit the floor
Torn bare from our chests
In this battle of wills
While your touch still gives me chills
But your mind captivates
Not I moment I will regret
Many times I will never forget
How much longer can we masquerade
As we play at this charade
Of never letting go
Both stubborn as the bull
Which one of us will give in first
This time I feel the turn is mine
Allowing yourself to love would be divine
Yet I cannot continue to waste time
Waiting around for you to mature
I know what I deserve
Far more than you can give right now
Your friendship is irreplaceable
I will be sad to see you go
Yet I know we are meant to part ways
Already we have spent too many days
In this relationship contradictory
After all, you and me
We were never meant to be

*This is a very private poem that I did not share with very many people.  It was written in regards to the father of my son.  This was at the end of things between us and 2-3 months before I found out that I had been pregnant since March.....