Friday, August 23, 2013

Weird Things for Sale on Amazon Part 2

Good evening on this wonderful Friday night!  I thought it was a great time to share with you some more weird things that you can buy on Amazon.

Big Mouth Toilet Mug
Let me just say that I won't be drinking out of this mug.  It looks like someone had an intense case of diarrhea....  Just eww.  However serving this to someone could be very awesome. On the plus side, it is advertised as being dishwasher safe.  You can't go wrong with that.  In the product description it tempts you with the ability to also be able to drink out of the toilet just like you dog :)

Top Reviews:
"Product is advertised as dishwasher safe. After one time in dishwasher, ALL of the white is gone and I'm left with a beige, old lady's underwear color and a big frown."-Mr. Cheeseburger.
*Well there does the dishwasher safe claim.  However I find it interesting that it was old ladies' underwear that he chose to compare the color too.  This makes me wonder why he is so familiar with the colors that old ladies generally wear in underwear....  On second thought I really don't want to wonder about that.

"The mug caused quite polemic opinions on my work office. Some people said I was crazy, some girls said "gross, I wouldn't drink from that thing". Some other laughed a lot. All in all I love it. It has a lot of coffee capacity since it's quite big! I don't use it on my boss meetings though, He may not take me very serious. The power of the mug toilet is not to play with." -the urelita 
*I have to admit that I am cracking up at "The power of the mug toilet is not to play with."

Big Mouth Toilet Mug

Bacon Mints
I can definitely see the appeal in bacon mints.  It won't freshen your breath in any way, but it could still be delicious.  The greater appeal for me would be to put them into an Altoids or a related tin and watch people's reaction when they are expecting a minty flavor.    According to Amazon:Each one of these mints tastes like a delicious slice of crispy bacon with just a hint of mint flavor to give it that extra punch! You'll see that mint and bacon is a match made in heaven

Top Reviews:
"I used to eat 2 packages of bacon a week. I was up to 400 pounds and looking into buying a pig farm. I came across these bacon mints and the bacon dental floss. Now when I need some bacon I pop a mouthful of these mints and I can get through the day. What I really need is some bacon mouthwash. Good Evening." -William F Desmond
*Now here is an unexpected twist to the bacon mints, that they can actually be used for weight loss!

"I love the packaging and the concept, but the flavor of the mints warrants less than 5 star rating.
The flavor is a very light hint of the small breakfast sausages, unlike any bacon I have ever tasted. Said light hint of flavor is soon overwhelmed by the sugar of the mint." Its8up

 *Another selling point, they can also taste like small breakfast sausages, sounds like a win to me.

 Bacon Flavored Mints

The Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have
I think the title pretty much covers all of it.  In our WebMD generation where any symptom you enter into the computer can give you a possible cancer outcome, I think this is very fitting.  It is advertised
to cover 50 of the most disgusting, painful, and life-threatening diseases. 

Top Reviews
"Medical editor and improvisational humorist Dennis DiClaudio has written an amazing book. It is essentially a pocket guide to selected horrible, scary, and interesting diseases presented in a quirky, humorous way. These diseases are neatly organized by categories (autoimmune, fungal, genetic, etc.) and cover only the most unusual of dread diseases. Sure, the book covers some more commonly known diseases like leprosy, acromegaly, and furious rabies, but it really shines when discussing truly obscure maladies such as fatal familial insomnia, cyclic vomiting syndrome (which, while it may not kill you, will make you wish it had,) alien hand syndrome (which gets my vote for most unusual neurological condition of all time,) and amnesic shellfish poisoning, which will make you forget all about the prawns you just ate (as well as everything else, for that matter.)
While all of these diseases are horrible in their own way, the one I find to be the most singularly scary is candiru infestation. This is the nastiest thing I have ever heard of: if you swim in the Amazon or Orinoco rivers a small, slender species of catfish called the candiru, but better known as the vampire fish, likes to swim up your urethra and lodge itself in your urinary tract. This hurts a lot. Do not try to pull it out because (surprise!) it has rearward pointing barbs that unfurl like an umbrella that will make it more firmly ensconced in its new home, where it spends its hours running sharp grating teeth all over your most sensitive parts to make a meal of your blood. (Some men have decided to have an otherwise unthinkable type of surgical amputation to make the pain stop.) As a side note, DiClaudio points out that there is legislation pending to outlaw importing candiru into the US, a measure that will, no doubt, get wide bipartisan support.
Even the more conventional diseases like bubonic plague and encephalitis are examined in a new and eerily entertaining light. I noted with a bit of trepidation that encephalitis can be caused by many, many other diseases, which DiClaudio helpfully lists in part; these include, but are not limited to: chicken pox, monkey pox, camel pox, canary pox, mollusci pox, sheep pox, vole pox, Aleutian mink disease, Andean potato mottle virus, hem-agglutinating virus of Japan, O'Nyong-Nyong, coital exanthema virus, Kyzylagach virus, yug bogdanovac virus, and mumps, just to name a few. Clearly you need to have an encephalitis contingency plan in place.
This book is actually full of good information, though I advise true hypochondriacs not even be allowed in the same room as this book. These diseases are scary, sure, but through DiClaudio's masterful prose and dry sense of humor, medical education actually becomes enjoyable with this book.
I highly recommend this to anyone with a good (if slightly warped) sense of humor, but the medically squeamish need not apply." -Robert I Hedges

*This has to be one of the more thorough definitions that I have come across, I love that he gives an example.  However, it is the last part that makes me actually want to buy this book when he recommends it to a good slightly warped sense of humor person as an audience. 

"Very humorous and well-written. Though I was disappointed that there weren't more illnesses that were less exotic so I could have imagined myself having contracted them..." -Jennifer P Snyder 
*I find it hilarious that she is sad that she can't imagine having contracted the illnesses within the book.  My response is that she let her imagination wander more...  

Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide

 Pee Pee Bib
I still can't stop laughing at the thought of someone wearing this.  It is essentially a bib for your male
member.  Advertised as flannel bibs for your winky.  I love the advertising photo about what a man's pants look like with and without the pee pee bib.  It is described as catching the drips like a male pantyliner.  Unfortunately there are not any reviews yet :(

Pee Pee Bib

Obsessive Compulsive Action Figure
This action figure is a hilarious concept.  He is advertised as be worried about whether or not you washed your hands after going to the bathroom.  he comes with a sterile surgical mask and a moist
towelette to wash him off before you play with him.

Top Reviews:
There were only 6 reviews to chose from so I will just summarize them for you.  Overall it has great reception and makes people laugh :)  Seems like a great gag gift.

OCD Action Figure

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