Monday, February 1, 2016

Empaths and Sociopaths

I went through lower levels of this in my youth, as a "fixer", and I went through many great years of freedom and enlightenment.  After giving birth to Liam, my confidence in myself and in life was not as high as it could, especially in my appearance.  Many old feelings of inadequacy were coming to the surface in many aspects of my life.  Liam was my anchor, but I was still especially vulnerable.  This allowed an opening for the most vampiric individual that I have ever come across.  The complete relationship is beyond the comprehension of most people who have never experienced the horror of dating a true sociopath.   Although this article describes the individual as a narcissist, I believe that they actually encountered someone much worse, a sociopath.  As empaths, we must always be on the look out for those that would take advantage of our nature.  I am glad to have survived the horrific experience, and am not intrigued that anyone's mind could be as twisted as this person's were.  Many things occurred during and because of that relationship, and even know I cannot openly speak of them with many, it is hard for others to truly understand what that experience entails.

This is a good read, and definitely being written from someone still feeling the pain of these wounds.

In general terms I would consider myself to be an ambivert, who tends to identify more on the introvert side, but can adapt when needed.  This morning I came across one opinion of the traits of an empathy...  I have often described myself as becoming more introverted every year and so #25 jumped out at me.  The reality of it was so glaring that I knew I was doing this, but didn't really even look at what was truly causing this. 

Like with all things, there are variations of the empath personality type. Some people will identify strongly, others will only recognise themselves in a few of the following traits:
1. Feels calmer when alone, and, in relationships, requires distance and regular periods of solitude.
2. When in the company of others an empath struggles to work out whether they are feeling their own emotions or the emotions of those around them.
3. Struggles to remain present as the chaos of emotions around them pushes and pulls on an empath’s own thoughts, feelings and emotions.
4. Often says yes to others without thinking of their own needs.
5. In relationships or friendships, very often puts other people before themselves, as though everyone else’s pleasure and happiness is more important than their own.
6. Relationships can often move too fast and can become intense very quickly as the empath connects on a deep, intimate level very quickly due to the ability to absorb other people’s energy and emotions.
7. An empath will often take full responsibility for how others treat them and for anything that goes wrong in relationships. They have a great amount of compassion and can clearly see other people’s emotional baggage and so they make many excuses for why people behave as they do, and this is very often to the detriment of an empath.
8. Tends to connect with people who are suffering and often wants to heal others or try to make the world a better place for them.
9. Can find themselves taking on and absorbing other people’s problems and being used as a sounding board or dumping ground so that others can offload their emotional baggage.
10. Instinctively knows when someone around them is not being truthful.
11. Sometimes empaths just know things, without having any idea of where they gained the information. When trying to work out the truth from a lie it can seem as though the information has been presented forward so that it can be used to help make a decision. The empath should only trust the information if they are highly skilled at reading themselves and others accurately and if paranoia or other information is not clouding their judgement.
12. An empath’s mind is an inquisitive one and they are constantly searching for answers and theorize and philosophise constantly.
13. An empath who is highly in tune with themselves and skilled at reading others will often be able to pick up on someone else’s thought processes even if they are thousands of miles away.
14. Connects very strongly to the animal kingdom and identifies very easily with the emotional and physical pains that animals go through.
15. Is often most at peace and feeling harmonious when spending time with nature and roaming around the outdoors.
16. Can feel the energy surrounding physical things and will often choose clothing or material purchases based on the energy that has attached to them.
17. Very creative and highly imaginative, writing, art, music, painting, dancing, acting, painting, building and designing are a few of the traits that empaths very often are passionate about.
18. An empath will likely get distracted easily when they are doing things they don’t enjoy and will quickly zone out or day dream when placed in situations where their mind is not stimulated.
19. Can struggle to fully relax in the company of others and really let their hair down and have fun, unless they are extremely comfortable and at ease with those surrounding them.
20. Prefers their living space to be clutter free and minimalistic; chaotic surroundings make for chaotic minds for an empath and they have enough inner sensations happening without cluttering their psyche further.
21. Finds it very difficult to be around people who are egotistical or enjoy putting others down to make themselves look better. Empaths will often come to the defense of those that have been rejected or bullied in any way.
22. Crowded places are emotionally overwhelming and downtime is required after social gatherings.
23. Highly sensitive to sounds, smells, bright lights and the feel of certain fabrics.
24. Regularly suffers with fatigue and can feel drained following interactions with others.
25. Can become shy and withdrawn as a method of self-protection. This can result in empaths becoming introverts as a way of avoiding the emotional and physical pain that often stems from interactions.

*Interestingly enough I wrote this at the beginning of August 2015, and little did I know that I would end up living with a narcissist/psychopath in less than a month.  See previous blog post:  Emotional Abuse Is.... Part 1

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