Lost: A Poem

Today was an exceptionally bad day....  Let's just say that it led to a rough poem of expressing some of my thoughts.  Just thought that I would share with you.  I know the flow is a bit rough, I haven't had much time to read through it, just sharing it in it's initial hurried pen to paper to get things out format.  Enjoy.

Lost

Brittany L. McCann

3-26-14

I feel so lost

Surrounded by chaos

As if adrift on the seas

Wave after wave of unplanned emergencies

Why can I not see the light

Is there no end in sight

No matter how hard I try

End up broken down and cry

Alone here I sit

Some days wanting to quit

Mental breakdown seems nigh

To a deserted place, I yearn to fly

Wanting to follow my dreams

Instead I stifle frustrated screams

Worse it can always be

Yet I still fight desperately

Can I never get ahead

Just want to hide in my bed

Is there no break to be caught

Has it all been for naught

I take it one step at a time

Awaiting my turn for sublime

Still here it is day after day

Sunny skies still turn grey

Most days are not sad

Yet some end up so bad

The battles I fight

Leave me alone in the night

Just when I can’t fight any longer

Somehow I come out stronger

One step at a time

Now entering my prime

Yet what is the cost

When I come to you lost

Humility in Life

Today was another one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong and it feels like a "Monday."  I woke up 20 minutes late, I was rushing all morning and finally getting back to schedule, drop Liam off and come out to leave for work and my car won't start.  It was obvious that my battery had died, so I went back inside and asked if anyone could help me jump start my car.  I had jumper cables and just needed another car.  It was all women that I could find and they all found ti hard to believe that I would know how to use jumper cables and wouldn't assist me.  Everyone just kept telling me to call roadside assistance and couldn't fathom that I only had liability on my car like I was a crazy person.  Eventually a man in an Air Force uniform came along and offered to help, I told him I just needed a car and I could do it, he insisted that I go sit in my car and he would handle it.  Unfortunately I come from somewhere where people do know how to use jumper cables so I was too trusting.  I was trying to watch from under the hood from the inside of the car and something seemed to be off.  The guy was seeming a little too nervous to me.  So I got out of my car to assist him when my car started smoking and there were sparks.  It turns out that he had hooked up to my fuse box instead of my battery.  Although I am grateful for his effort in trying to help me, I wish he would have decided otherwise if he didn't know what he was doing.  Needless to say this ended up costing me close to $250 and a few hours of my time, but luckily it appears that my car is drivable again.


At this point I was definitely not feeling at the top of my game and wasn't in the greatest mood.  I was doing my best to try to look at the bright side of the situation when I heard a man speak that changes my day and my attitude around completely.  This man was in a very sad state of mind.  He was a low point in his life and he chose to be brave and share his struggles and he talked about having lost everything in his life that mattered to him, his job, his home, his wife and most of all his children.  This story touched my to my core.  Here I was down about something so trivial when I have so much to be thankful for.  I get to wake up to my amazing son, I get to laugh with him, hug him, kiss him, and put him to bed every night.  I get to watch him learn and grow before his eyes.  I could lose everything in life but as long as I still have him, I will always have something to be thankful for.

Since we are on the topic of humility I came across something else the other day that also touched my heart and made me so sad in less than one minute.  I feel like this message of this video definitely needs to be shared, and so I am now sharing it with you.  I could go on and on about this message, but for now I will let the video tell the story and we can address this topic at a later date.  Take this powerful message to heart.