Thankful

I have spent a lot of time this year, and especially today thinking about all of the things in my life that I am thankful for.  I wanted to share some of those precious things with you and let you know all that I am in gratitude for that have made an big impact on my 2013.

First and foremost Liam, my son, my #1 man, my rock, my heart, my world.  I never knew what love was until he came into my life.  I never knew for sure what my purpose was until I became his mother.  To love something completely before you even get to see it is amazing.  Watching him grow up into such a character with so much personality, and energy  but also compassion for others.  I am so proud to be Liam's mommy, and very blessed to have him brought into my life.

Then we come to my mother.  I am so happy that you were a young mother, that you were such an unselfish mother the whole time I was growing up even to your own detriment at times.  That you taught me kindness and love and showed me how to be a good mother.  That you have been able to be the type of mother that I consider to be my best friend, that we have been blessed to be such a big part of one anothers' lives.  I regret that we do not live closer, because I hate not being able to see you all of the time.  I am so happy that I get to see you next week, because we are too close to not see one another, and I want Liam to know his grandmother.

I am so very thankful for my daddy.  You can be a hard man to live with, but I would not choose any single other person in this world to call my father.  You have been in my life from the beginning.  You are an amazing and honorable man to love me as your own and to continue to love me regardless of divorce from mom.  You have always been my hero in life, from fireman, to green beret to grandfather.  You have made the 20+ hour trek to Texas at least once a year to spend time with us and it does not go unnoticed.  I have always had you to look up to, and many of my major decisions in life I have made based off of your intelligence and your example.  I remember you being worried that I wouldn't love you anymore when you and mom got divorced and I could not fathom how you could even ask me that question.  You are the only father my heart ever has and ever will love.  I always loved you and appreciated all that you have done for me, but it wasn't until becoming a single mother and dating and seeing the way men would interact with Liam or tell me their stance on "someone else's child" that I truly found appreciation in the selfless love that you and all of that side of the family has always shown me.  I have NEVER felt like I didn't belong with you all and I am so thankful for the closeness and love that I have known because I have had you in my life.  I will not EVER get married unless I can find someone who can love Liam and I the way that  you loved us.  

Of course my dear sister.  The only person that can drive my emotions onto a roller-coaster in mere seconds.  The friend I always wanted to be closer to, the sister I always worried about.  The person who has pushed every single limit and boundary I have and then tested them again.  I am thankful that we find a way to live close to one another even if we are far from home.  I am thankful for you being there for me and helping me with Liam when I was all alone.  I honestly don't know how I would have survived those first few months without you.  You have taught me so many lessons about life and I only ever hope to see you happy.  I know I am overprotective at times and worry too much and get constantly told to quit acting like your mother, but you are my dear sister and I would not be who I am in life without you to push me past my comfort zone.  You are my polar opposite in life, and I would not chose you to be another way.  I am thankful that no matter how mad you can make me, that I still love you.  Sometimes I wish that I could live life as freely as you do, but ultimately I am thankful for the moments when we can laugh and protect one another and I miss spending time together, the fleeting moments in recent times makes me miss my sister even when we live in the same city.  

My dog Kiri, I named you aptly for in many a dark time, you have been the sunlight that has shown through.  Before Liam, you helped me through very dark times in life.  You gave me purpose and reason.  Your ability to accommodate and become the 2nd best in life, is amazing.  I am thankful for your loyalty and your intelligence and that you are more bear than dog.  You make me smile and give me love all the time, unconditionally, and I am happy to be able to come home and always be loved no matter what has happened in life.  

My grandma Shirley, YOU ARE MY SALVATION.  Truly I cannot say anything deeper than that.  You have rescued me when I was drowning.  When I was at my lowest low, you were my anchor to help me come back to the surface.  You are the most selfless person I have and probably ever will meet in this life.  I live my life always hoping to repay you for all that you have done for me.  You are my example of what a true saint in life really is.  There truly are no words that can express the gratitude I feel in my heart, and I am so blessed to have you in my life, I love you so much.

My mentor, Bunny.  You have always shown me what a true example of self power can be.  The calm that is felt just in entering your house.  The way that a short talk with you can seem to solve so many unresolved issues is amazing.  You are so talented and gifted and caring.  I have learned so many amazing things from you, and I am sad that I do not get to feel the peace that I find in your presence more often.  I miss your energy in person and wish that I was closer to do more things like bring you flowers and drink tea and soak in the sunlight and bask in your wisdom.  You are such an amazing being.  

My cousins Savannah & Marie, I am so thankful that we are so close in age and got to grow up knowing one another.  I have recently been very sad that Liam does not have that, and does not know people in the family and be close like we were.  We have experienced things in life that no one ever will.  I don't think I have ever laughed as hard as I have in the presence of you both.  You have both taught me what being the short non-artistic cousin is like and how I can excel in other ways ;)  I will never know another driver quite like Marie, and never will I know another laugh as full of happiness as yours either.  With Savannah I will never be able to share a quirky humor that could be understand outside of us, or the love of dogs, and I am so thankful that we live within driving distance.  You have helped me escape and have been a wonderful :auntie: to Liam :)

I am so thankful for each and every family member in one way or another, I could write an entire book.  But I will be here all night.... to be continued...

My job, I am so thankful to have been lucky enough to stay within the same line of work for over 11 years now.  I have somehow escaped my degree thus far, but I do hope to return to school in 2014.  Even when I have a hard time going, it gives me the security that helps me to be the best mother that I can to Liam.  I am also very thankful for an amazing boss who has stood by me and fought for me when he didn't have to.  Who has helped me more than he will ever know and is a truly good person.  I am thankful for the timing of this job when I needed quickly out of a desperate situation and that I had a quick and easy transition to the other side of my office :)

I am thankful for the military for giving me skills and experiences that I would not have otherwise ever encountered in any other way.  And for life-changing people who have taught me many lessons in life good and bad.  I would not be me without those people.

I am thankful for my friends far and wide and never fully realized just HOW amazing and special my friends in life have been and how blessed I was until I moved here.  I wish I lived closer to at least one of you, because life is lonely without my amazing bonds.

I am thankful for the internet and social media to allow me to easily continue friendships from afar and to make new ones.

I am thankful for a car that gets me to work and where I need to go, and for the ability to have a roof over my head.  

I am thankful for music, that my music tastes are so wide and that I can listen to a vast amount of different things and not be so limited by a narrow mind.

I am thankful for books, that help me escape and teach me so many things, and give me things to look forward to.  

My sense of humor and the ability to find humor in SO many different things, and those few friend that I can share the worst of jokes with and know that you will laugh with me.

Netflix, which has been a savior in many ways.  

Movies: My love and obsession.

But most of all, I am thankful for the little things in life, I could be here all night.  But let me close with saying that I am thankful for opportunities that can somehow appear to be horrible disasters that are life changing and eye opening and really ways of saving yourself in a way that you would have never encountered before.  But really I am just THANKFUL to be alive and to have this opportunity at life.