Friday, November 15, 2013

Weird Things For Sale on Amazon Part 4

I figured it was about that time again for some more weird things for sale on Amazon.  In this edition we will visit the realms of weirdness in pets and in social graces.  Enjoy!

Catnip Bubbles:
 This features a 4 oz bottle that claims to be organic and safe for your cat.  Real catnip is supposedly used int he formula to keep the cats interested. 

Top Reviews:
"My cat loves these bubbles. All I have to say is "Do you want bubbles?" and she comes running out from wherever she may be hiding. She meows and pounces on the bubbles. I am giving them a rating of 4 though because they smell horrible. If they drip on anything white it will turn green, but can easily be cleaned with some water and a sponge!!!!" -Jeanette Ferraro 
*I don't know if I would want something that turned things green and smelled awful....

"I wanted a safe bubble product for my year old cats. I researched the various "pet" bubbles and decided on this one based on product size, cost, and reviews. I received in timely manner in a well packaged box with clear plastic covering the entire bottle. Naturally I smelled the product and did detect a slight spicy scent but a bit of a cleaning product smell as well. The bubble wand is standard as pictured. The bubbles produced are sized from 1" to about 3" in diameter. Just the right size for kitties to play with. They last a substantial amount of time without bursting and do not leave behind any residue that I have detected. I use them on an outside wood porch. Compared to store brand bubbles these are a bit pricey but find these are some of the best bubbles I have ever purchased and worth the price. Also, the ad states the size is 4 oz. but the bottle states it is 5 oz. I think this one bottle will last throughout the summer and fall season being used for a few minutes each day. My kitties loved playing with these and sometimes required hitting the bubble a couple of times before they burst. My one complaint is that this product is distributed by United Pet Group, Inc. in Ohio but the bottle states this product is made in China. I consider this product worth the cost and would definitely make a repeat purchase but will research for a product made in the USA first." -IslandSandy
*I thought it was great to get a more scientific approach. 

You can purchase the bubbles at:Catnip Bubbles

Subtle Butt
I am still laughing just thinking about this one.  Subtle Butt is the name of a product for disposable gas neutralizers.  They are advertised and thin and discrete, self-adhesive to clothing, and come in a 5-pack.  They are also affectionately called fart pads or fart filters.  They claim to effectively filter the odor caused by flatulence. 

Top Reviews:
"I can finally pass gas in peace. I am sick of being judged for my gastrointestinal quirks.  4/5 stars only because these only last about 3-4 hours until I fart them up too much." -J Mason
*Hahahaha, they must be those SBDFs

"I guess they work, but there should be some warnings or instructions that go along with these.  First, they are less effective OUTSIDE your pants.  Second, they are not safe for insertion." -Armedes
*Hahaha I don't even want to know why they tried insertion...

You can check them out yourself at: Subtle Butt disposable neutralizers

Happy Man Bottle Stopper
Now we come to the happy man bottle stopper.  What is the first thing you think of when you think of a happy man?  If you thought of him as horny.... you are right!  That is exactly what this is supposed to be...  although I could debate that if he is happy he wouldn't be much use here and should instead be called the Horny Man Bottle Stopper, but that may have offended people....  He is advertised to be suitable for most types of bottles.   On a plus side you also get to see his little red butt cheeks when he is in use.  The arms and legs sticking out appear to be handy when trying to get him unstuck from the bottle.  Amazon claims that he is ready to "tear that drink open" that's right it says that, I couldn't make that part up if I wanted to haha.

"Okay, bought this as a little birthday gift to go along with some bottles of wine. Functionally, this guy deserves a one star because he is too small to create a seal in most wine bottles, but since everyone thought he was so funny I gave him two. I think the makers of this product need to either enhance his package or use a more rubbery material that can create a seal. Needs more girth."  -Kat
*I think that Kat just called the happy man out on this one haha.

"This little guy is a pervert, but darn, he's cute... And fun! Makes guests laugh when they come over! We enjoy it." -Natalie S. Gregg
*It's ok to be a pervert as long as you are cute ;)

If you want your own perverted little bottle stopper for those times that you need to tear open a drink you can go purchase yours at: Happy Man Bottle Stopper

I Like It Sloppy and Weird Hooded Dog T-shirt
Oh man...  there are so many things wrong with this one.  First of all I get the sloppy part because of course it is a dog and they can be sloppy, but where does the "weird" part come in.  Is it weird to the owner or weird to the dog, or maybe a little bit of both.  Now if that wasn't enough this is a Hoodie T-shirt.  That would be awful even on a human.  Why in the heck are you going to put a hoodie on your dog?   To complete the hoodie ensemble, it does have a pocket although located on the back of the dog, it advertises that this is a good place to put a treat.  Now this is where things could get really funny, depending on your dog and if they can reach the pocket, to see them trying to maneuver around to get the treat out of their pocket, almost as good as chasing their own tail haha.  Although there are not yet any reviews on this product I couldn't help but share it because of the endless possibilities that you could come up with in your mind.  It comes in a variety of sizes as well as colors and even provides the correct way to measure your dog to tell whether you need a terrier or huskier size ;) 

If you want to get one for your dog, or maybe even a small child you can go check it out at:
Warning Sloppy Hooded T

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals: Hand Sanitizer
I thought it would be great to end on a high note with this very pertinent issue with hand sanitizer and valid real world reasons why people may need to use it.  It is advertised as the "#1 after-genital contact hand sanitizer"  In case you aren't one to touch yourself very often, you may find some of the other products are most suitable for you, other offers in the same product line are as follows: Bitch Slap Those Germs, Cleaner Than Shit (Which comes with a warning to use extra if you actually do see shit), Ew., I Love My Penis (This has a warning to not actually apply to your penis area) and You Nasty (advertising that "You ain't the shit if you smell like it"). 

Top Reviews:
"We were extremely pleased with the effectiveness with which this product removed ball smell and general funk from our hands.  My partner however experienced severe burning sensation in the mouth and throat, left eye and a possibly unrelated rash so the burning was probably karma related.  But I would still advise anyone using this product to only use on you hands!" -1waitingfold
*Natural Selection: Before modern medicine this would have already been taken care of...

"I just don't know what to think about this product. This hand-sanitizer appears to be self-aware. It refuses to dispense itself to me unless I touch my genitals before hand. It just will not come out of the container unless I touch them. Now, mind you, I'm not the kind of person who's squeamish about genitals. Given the right situation, I'll touch more than my share. But I really do not see the need to do so just because I want clean hands! I have free will and I choose not to handle my tallywacker before cleaning my hands!  Strangely enough, you don't have to touch your own genitals to get the product to work." -Rich Meyer
*I don't think I really need to say anything here on this one....

If you are having problems washing your hands after touching your genitals, this could be the perfect product for you, check it out: Maybe Touched Your Genitals Soap

In case you missed the previous editions you can find them here:
Weird Things For Sale on Amazon Part 3

Weird Things For Sale on Amazon Part 2

Weird Things For Sale on Amazon Part 1

No comments:

Post a Comment